Being single is tough, being single with a child (or a few of them) is insanity. I know for myself, I had no idea how hard things were going to be after my divorce. I thought dating would be a walk in the park and I sincerely imagined meeting the love of my life 6 months after getting the casual sex period out of my system.
I WAS VERY VERY WRONG- hence the birth of this very column and the podcast, Sex and Jersey City.
Now things have changed alot since our last column (maybe I will share the updates on my own personal life) but in the meantime. I am here to help you all with your relationship and dating questions.
A young man slid in my dm’s a few weeks ago asking for my advice, he said he was interested in a woman who was a few years older than him and a single mom. He said that they’ve been friends and she’s been hinting that she is interested. He said he really likes her and doesn’t want to screw it up and if I could give him some tips. So here we are.
How to date a single mom. If you’re interested in woo’ing a MILF, these tips will help you. BUT please for fucks sake don’t try it if you’re not into it for the right reasons. We have enough to deal with and we don’t need our hearts broken. Please and thank you.
1- Be Considerate of her time
Being a parent is FULL TIME. If the person you’re interested in is divorced/co-parents they probably have a schedule. And if not then hopefully they have help or a family member that can babysit. Ask them in ADVANCE when they are free to hang out, make a plan and stick to it. Being spontaneous as a parent is almost impossible, it can happen if the person you’re interested has a good support system. Again, make a plan, stick to it. Flaking last minute is actually the worst thing you can do to anyone but very much to a single parent who had to probably jump through hoops to get the free night.
2- If they are chatting with you, it’s a great sign.
Single parents don’t have alot of time to entertain people they are only semi-interested in.
3- Be straight up
Tell them you want to get to know them, make plans right away, take initiative. Again single parents don’t have time to diddle daddle. Also, personally I am always the one planning and organizing shit for my family that it’s so nice when someone that’s interested in me goes the extra mile and makes things easier for me.
4- Take interest in their kids/family life
A man who doesn’t ask me about my kid raises a huge red flag. It tells me they have zero interest in getting that far with me. Our children are incredibly important to us, and a huge part of our lives. Take interest in their family, ask about little Timmy and what he likes to do etc. It shows that you care which is incredibly sexy. In previous relationships when a man would even go as far to ask how my daughter’s day went or what she was into made a difference.
5- Don’t be a flake
A single parent has to coordinate things in advance, get a sitter, move things around to accommodate. Single parents barely have time for themselves so if they are giving you their time and energy don’t be a flake and cancel last minute. This is a huge huge pet peeve and of mine personally and unless it’s an actual emergency it is a deal breaker.
6- Take it slow
Depending on how long ago they seperated/divorced they might need some time. Get to know them, follow their cues and energy and above all be patient.
7- Make her feel like a queen
This is a given in any situation but especially for single moms. A single mom is always doing so much for her kids and others and I can’t tell you how nice it is to date a man that appreciates that and that will go out of their way to treat their interest like a queen. Make dinner, buy her flowers, rub her feet. Little things go a super long way.
8- Don’t string her along. If you’re not feeling it, end it.
9- Don’t ask if she wants to get married again, or have more kids on the first date. This happened to me once and I screamed at the bar and left. Wait for her to bring it up if things get serious.
10- Have fun! A single mom is the same as any woman just with alot of responsibility. It’s sexy when a woman is able to care for other humans. Means she can care for you too!
11- When you do hang out, make it count and understand there will be times when you want to see them but you can’t because little Timmy has an ear infection.
Have a relationship/dating/sex question for us? Email firstname.lastname@example.org