One boring afternoon, as I scrolled through Instagram, I saw a sexy post from one of my dear friends. I had met her years ago in a social setting and immediately felt intimidated by her. She was this cool, glasses and fitted hat-wearing, tatted up babe with a naturally killer body to die for. We ended up hitting it off and she turned out to be this amazing and cool chick. When I saw her scandalous IG post, I was shocked: “Ask me about my Snapchat Premium!” She was posing in this seductive manner with a sexy outfit for all to see as she advertised her cleavage. Thinking it was probably a one-time thing, I moved on until I kept seeing her continuous promotions.

I reached out and told her how much I admired the confidence she had to just put it out there and she made a good point: why not charge the men asking for her nudes and lewds? Genius! Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, that’s right, because my body isn’t as amazing or as curvy as hers. She stopped me right as I was putting myself down and told me guys will pay for just about anything – anything. And you know, what? She was right, and that is how I became a camgirl.

Doing my research

We will call my friend “Lola.” Lola had offered to answer all my questions and concerns about camgirling. How do I start? How much should I charge? What happens if I show my face? How often should I post and advertise? These are the tips Lola gave me:

Make up an account (on Snapchat) and privatize it.
I charge [X] for access; you can start there or name your price.
You can show your face if you don’t mind people finding out.
Post a few times a day.
Have a “menu” with freebies – some men will get greedy, don’t fall for that!
Limit your freebies.
Use social media to promote such as Instagram and Twitter.
Taxes are a thing in sex work so save your earnings.

After about a month or so of researching other digital sex workers aka camgirls, I pulled the trigger and my online alter ego was born; we will call this alter ego Red. I started off on Snapchat and decided to promote on Reddit and IG rather than Twitter. I was more familiar with Reddit and it didn’t take long to hook my first subscriber and Red would take over. Red was this sexy, flirty, confident vixen – things I would never call myself. For the first few days, I would post lewd material on my Snapchat premium and kept the real goodies for my money maker, Girlfriend Experience or GFE.

GFE was a service I would offer to those who were feeling neglected or just lonely and I would spend one-on-one time with. We would text, I would send random playful videos or lewd shots but we would never meet IRL. Most men just wanted to have a conversation with a hot girl who would engage and listen to them. In other words, I was getting paid to listen to men speak… and show off my boobs.

The money and the glamour?

Firstly, I should mention that I was not abused as a child, I went to good schools growing up, both parents were present in my life, and I had amazing relationships with all my siblings. Anyone who knows me will tell you how quiet and reserved I can be but whenever Red came out to play, I was different. I just savored being this sexual character online that I never had the confidence IRL. Putting on a performance every day was sometimes fun; it felt like I was walking around with a secret. Something about the fact strangers were willingly offering me money or gifts sent me on this power trip. It made me feel in charge. I was taking the Madonna/Whore theory and crumpling it up. I know I’m a “good girl”, but I also enjoyed expressing my sexuality and using that sexuality as a means of income. I did not feel like I was being degraded, in fact, I felt dominant.

I stopped shooting and filming last year by my own choice. I simply did not find it as fulfilling enough to make the time and effort needed to be successful in it. There was no dramatic reveal, exposure, or blackmail – I just lost interest. It does take a lot of time to get set up, come up with new ideas, and promoting but in the end, the drive was something I did not possess. Just like everything else, there were pros and cons throughout the whole experience.

The good

Every body is beautiful

As I dove deeper into Reddit and Fetlife, I learned all different body shapes were beautiful – and worth paying for. If I am being honest, the acceptance of body diversities made me feel more confident. It wasn’t all about having fake breasts or a BBL, it was about the girl-next-door look. These customers wanted to see the girl they had a crush on back in high school, they wanted to watch the naturally curvy girl show off her body – stretch marks and all, they wanted to flirt with voyeurism while they watched the mom of three embrace her body change and that alone should be fucking celebrated. In a world where social media adds so much pressure on women to look like a Kardashian, it was refreshing knowing this wasn’t the norm. In fact, there are many people who prefer amateur porn opposed to the professionals. According to Dr. Laurie Betito, a Clinical Psychologist with a specialty in Sexual Wellness and the Director of Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center, “It seems that people are looking for more realistic depictions of sex. “Real” people vs. actors seem to be the draw.

I wanted to learn why amateur porn was/is so sought after opposed to the “old school” pros, so I hopped on Reddit and asked a general audience which do they prefer: Amateurs or professionals?

“…the amateur bodies are sexier because they are more realistic. Also I’m always turned on hearing more natural orgasm as opposed to fake or forced for cameras.”
“People feel more genuine connection to u [SIC]”
“Because real women are sexier than professional anorexics with fake tits… any alteration is unattractive. Real, normal looking everyday women next door are the sexiest of all.”
“Amateur is much more relatable. Seeing others is like seeing your average joe neighbors.”

Everyone’s got a kink

Along with body positivity, I learned more about different kinks: pet play, DDLG, CNC, chastity play, Shibari, D/s, watersports – if you can think it, there is most likely a kink to it! To broaden my “companions” and subscribers, I would try to be open minded and discover new kinks. You can log on anywhere and see boobies and a bubble butt but throw in rope bondage while you are being suspended upside down? Now you have a niche to sell!

CHA-CHING $$$

Despite some men proclaiming they would never pay for sex acts there are many men who will, they just don’t talk about it. Men paid me to digitally spend time with them and most of it was just talking about their day. Sex would make an appearance, but they just were looking for a good-looking woman who will just ask them how their day is going without judging them. Some days, there was no flirtation at all! They literally just want to talk, and I feel that is important to note. I was surprised how many men were willing to pay me to converse. Don’t get me wrong, plenty wanted to jump right on in for a quick fapping session, but many were interested in speaking to someone new. With a transaction, both parties were aware this was not going to go further than online, and, in a sense, this made them feel safe – especially those who were in relationships.

If someone subscribed to my Premium that was one charge for the month, however, extra goodies were charged separately. GFE was more expensive because it was more intimate and personal, and I still charged for extra goodies such as toy play and kink requests. OnlyFans had another form of payment altogether and was easier to manage. The problem with OF is you must be dedicated to promoting nonstop to get decent traction because there is always someone else to compete with.  

Bella Thorne: The shark in the pond

Bella Thorne made a mess on OnlyFans back in August of 2020. After spending only two days on the platform, Thorne “earned” two million dollars. I use the term loosely because, technically, she scammed people for their money. Not only did she scam but after receiving backlash for joining and raising the already high bar with unnecessary competition, she defended her actions by claiming she was doing research for a role.

Thorne announced on Twitter that she would not be posting nudes on her OnlyFans and she isn’t. You can subscribe to her monthly page for $9.99 and check out her sexy lingerie, partying, and flirty camera angles but you won’t be seeing the goods… for “free” anyway!

She posts the typical celebrity shots with promises of making her subscribers “smile” and whether those perks are innocent or not, her actions caused OnlyFans to not only crash but enforce a new cap on earning tips and changed weekly payouts to monthly.

This was a major loss for many OF content creators, especially for 2020 as many people found themselves without jobs due to the pandemic outbreak. Sex workers and non sex workers using the site already had to compete with each other on pricing and content, adding a celebrity made the competition even harder and, essentially, taking money from creators who rely on this platform to survive.

The bad

Time consuming and demanding

Camgirling is work and just like work, it can take hours. It would take me a few tries before I could turn Red on and engulf myself in this sexy persona when all I can think about is “WTH am I going to make for dinner? I really should do laundry before I start cooking.” My subscribers and companions cannot know in that moment, I wasn’t in the moment. Whatever content I was filming or shooting at the time really took a few hours, not to mention editing. Do not think you will bring in the big bucks just by posting random selfies.

Time consumption aside, someone may want you to do a workout shoot while another wants a BDSM shoot. You will need to plan out outfits and setting and if you are going to use make up, it can become costly (you can claim hair appointments, manicures, outfits, and other goodies on your taxes) and tiring. If this were my only source of income, it would be easier but as I was working a full-time vanilla job, it was draining, and I began to slack off. This may have played a role into why I decided to stop camwork altogether.

Your content can be leaked

Technology is a gift and a curse so while you are making money, some men are making long lasting memories by screen shooting. You may think this is not a big deal at 18 but when you decide later that you want to go into politics (or literally any other profession), someone may leak your photos and damage your reputation. I was very particular on who saw my face, my piercings, and tattoos. Since I thought about the possible repercussions, discretion was important to me.

Scams

Some men would try to haggle and even negotiate paying half now and half later. I had this one gentleman pull this on me and I decided to send him a video that disappeared after watching it twice and a boob shot – that’s it. I ghosted him after a few days because he was taking too long to pay the rest and, well, bitch better have my money, or we are done communicating. When I did offer freebies, sometimes it was not enough for them and they just wanted more free content rather than paying. The blocking option came in handy quite a few times…

“Slut” shaming

People will shame camgirls, camboys, basically all sex workers and that comes with the territory. Being discreet was a major thing for me so I only told people I trusted about what I was doing. You will get trolls everywhere you advertise about how much of a slut you are, but you will just need to resist the urge to communicate with them. The dangers of engaging some of them are being exposed. Some people will go the extra step to dig out your information and, on the internet, nothing is sacred.

So, did I make a lot of money? I made enough to be satisfied with. Was it glamorous? Not really but doing this was a positive learning experience for me and I would not have changed it. It was an interesting experiment into the minds of those who pay for such content and companionship. I was not prepared for the requirements of being a full time camgirl and I am sure if I had put more effort into it, I would have seen a much larger turn around. While I do not rely on this as my source of income, many men and women do and the important take away is we shouldn’t discredit sex workers. I could not keep up with the high demands and though it may look easy and fun, it is still work.