Hey guys, Tarol here, If you’re reading this, I want you to know… Cuffing season is over and chivalry is dead, so stop looking for something that doesn’t exist.
Just kidding! Cuffing season is over, but chivalry is still very much alive. With that being said, your mom and dad’s style of dating is not. Dating in the digital age has definitely evolved and there’s so much to stay caught up on. As part of our Sex in Jersey City column, we’ll be exposing the truth about the millennial dating world, our experiences in it, and keeping you up to date with everything you need to know about dating in JC. Keep reading to stay informed and may the dating odds be ever in your favor.
1. Ghosting…
What is Ghosting? Ghosting is when you’ve met someone, things are going well, maybe even to the point you’re … dating? And then BOOM, you never hear from them again. No explanation, no closure, no further communication, no nothing. The only thing you’re left with is no text back and lots of unanswered questions.
2. Mosting...
Mosting is like Ghosting on STEROIDS. It’s when someone does the most with the very least. The person is super into you, always flattering you, giving you compliments up the *shut yo mouth* and is the epitome of charming. You’re considering taking things to the next level and then flatline, dial tone. No answers, no goodbye, no explanation and, even worse than ghosting, TONS of hurt and lots of confusion. How could this person be so into you and then act like it never even happened? How could you guys have been on the verge of something special and now it’s like it never existed? While it’s unfortunate, it’s pretty common. The best way to get over this is to be proactive about it. Remember, anything that seems too good to be true … probably is.
3. Ghostbusting…
Ghostbusting is when you’ve been ghosted, and now you’re on a mission to find out the reason why. Maybe you’re double texting them or asking if there was something you did wrong. Chances are, it’s not your fault – You should know I think you’re great and the person doing this to you isn’t! Or perhaps you aren’t that great at all. Whatever the case is, the bottom line is that person doesn’t want to talk to you. The best way to handle this situation is to move on. Bury the memories, delete the number and, more importantly, delete the text thread as well.
4. Cushioning…
I’m calling out all you serial cheats out there. The ones that aren’t comfortable being alone, but also aren’t happy with their current status so they keep a security blanket just in case things don’t go as planned with a new partner, or insurance for when they leave their current partner. Whether you’re a cushioner or have been cushioned, be super cautious because this situation never ends well.
5. Pokemoning…
We all know an Ash Ketchum. That one friend who’s gotta have them all. This person racks up potential suitors for sport and is ready to ditch anyone who no longer fits their starting lineup. While this concept is certainly not new, dating apps like Tinder and Bumble certainly give it a new sense of accessibility.
6. Phubbing…
Phubbing or (phone snubbing) is when you’re out with a date and he, she, or even you are “snubbing through your phone” instead of paying attention to the other person. Not only is it incredibly rude, but it also begs the question of if you should date that person at all. The goal here is to date someone who *ahem* makes you want to put your phone down. So if you’re phubbing or being phubbed, it may be time to move on.
7. Stashing…
OR, the act of deliberately keeping your new partner away from friends, family and social media as a means to keep the relationship informal and non-exclusive. Waiting until you and your partner are ready is one thing, but this is another. Though that line can be ambiguous, it’s important to be upfront about your needs, wants and expectations to avoid unwanted stashing.
8. Submarining ….
Submarining is when things have ended with a romantic interest, be it sudden (like ghosting) or amicably (mutual breakup), and then the person pops back up as though it’s only been a few days since you’ve spoken. i.e you ended things 6 months ago and now they’ve tried to pick right back up where things left off, like asked to see a movie or invited you to a local bar with them. Whether you catch the bait or not, the person is likely to continue this on and off pattern, so tread with caution.
Have you experienced one or more of these trends? Have you been guilty of ghosting someone? We want to know! Give us your dating stories and thoughts on trends in the comment section below or email us at info@chicpeajc.com.
Love this Tarol!