Calling all lesbians! This one’s for you!! I found myself back at Brightside Tavern last Thursday evening to sit down with a trio of lovely ladies who make up the group, GirlMeet. GirlMeet, which was spearheaded by Lucy, Dawn and A.D., is a lesbian meet up group which meets once a month at various locations throughout Jersey City. Designed to create a budding lesbian community for JC, and a great way to network, GirlMeet provides a warm, welcoming and super friendly environment no matter what venue they’re at.
And the particular venue we shared Thursday evening was Brightside’s very cute upstairs, brick-walled loft. The loft provided shuffleboard, darts and even its very own bar complete with personal server.
Women came to mix and mingle, grab something to eat, have a few drinks and even play some classic games like Scrabble, Trouble, and Uno which were provided by the GirlMeet team.
The vibe upstairs was pure positivity in the intimate house party-like setting. I truly felt as though I was at a friend’s small soiree (the rich kind of friend who can afford to hire a wait staff and own a fancy apartment with exposed brick walls); the type of party where it’s totally laid back, you’re completely comfortable, and you get to converse with new people.
The GirlMeet team greeted every single woman who walked up that staircase and warmly welcomed them. Some guests came solo while others brought a friend. Some even came with their partner or wife. Everyone was extremely friendly, even to the lone gay guy lurking in the corner (I was merely observing, but my resting bitch face didn’t help the situation any by making me look like a total creeper).
And as I sat and observed for a bit, I immediately yearned to become a lesbian so I could become a part of the amazing community these three ladies have started to carve out for Jersey City, but realized certain anatomical restrictions could get in the way of that. And I can’t really afford sex reassignment surgery. And then I thought about how much I love men. Like, really, really love men. But as I found out later in our interview, I can still be a part of this community and keep my penis, because they do not discriminate! Although it’s “woman-centric,” this is not a “Girls Only” club, fellas! There are no “No Boys Allowed” signs warding off men (well not for gay men anyway, you straight men need to keep your girl-on-girl fantasies on your computer’s hard drive because this isn’t that kind of setting).
I cannot wait to join in the fun next month when GirlMeet meets up again. You should join in too, because what GirlMeet is doing for the lesbian scene in Jersey City is pretty damn incredible!
Tell me about GirlMeet.
Dawn: GirlMeet is an event that happens the last Thursday of every month and it exists because there seems to be a ton of gay women in Jersey City and we didn’t know any of them. And so we wanted to create a way that we can get to know each other and build a community.
Perfect! How long has it been around?
Lucy: February was the first meet up.
Dawn: This is our seventh or eighth event.
Lucy: We meet once a month.
So, you are all the brains and the coordinators behind this group? You came together as a threesome and you’ve built this together?
A.D.: Yes, which is actually a funny story though.
Dawn: Me and Lucy went on an OKCupid date.
Scandalous!
Lucy: That’s how it started.
Dawn: I said, “You’re a bartender in Jersey City and you’re a lesbian in Jersey City?! I meet no lesbians in Jersey City!” I would always have to go to Brooklyn or Manhattan.
Lucy: And how many years have you been here?
Dawn: I’ve been here eight years.
Lucy: “And I’ve never met another lesbian.” When she said that, I didn’t hear anything else, I said, “We need to do something about this!” And then I met A.D., who lives up the street.
A.D.: Yeah, I live up the street and I was doing construction.
You do construction?! You’re so little!
A.D.: No, my home was under construction. Let’s not get crazy.
Sorry! My mind went straight to stereotypical lesbian. Shame on me.
A.D.: Yeah, I forgot my tool belt tonight. But I would come here on a daily basis for four or five months and I finally realized Lucy was gay. And so I said to her, “Where are all the lesbians in Jersey City?!” I moved here for diversity. Where are all the lesbians?!
Lucy: So this became our tagline. Where are all the lesbians? So, if we were going to start anything, I thought these two would be great because I’m probably the least social of the three.
Dawn: But she’s incredibly active! She does the flyers. She does all of our art.
Lucy: But I needed people who knew how to speak to other people. So, I thought Dawn is amazing. A.D. is amazing. The three of us, let’s get together and start a community meet up.
A.D.: I came here [Brightside Tavern] for a mimosa on a Sunday, Dawn’s sitting in the corner of the bar, Lucy points at her and I get the message, “Oh, she’s a lesbian!” And so I started talking to her and we all hit it off.
Dawn: I feel like we’ve become really good friends.
So you two [Lucy and Dawn] didn’t hit it off on the date?
Dawn: I felt we hit it off lovely.
A.D.: They didn’t have sex.
After a long bout of laughter…
Well they aren’t gay men. Gay men have sex on the first date and lesbians get married on theirs. Ah, the beauty of stereotypes. So, you two aren’t dating?
Lucy: No, we aren’t dating.
Well, you two hit it off in a different way.
Lucy: Yes!
Dawn: When I met Lucy, I really wanted to maintain this connection and it wasn’t necessarily romantic. And then I met A.D. and she’s incredibly charismatic. She’s so great at getting people to mingle.
A.D.: I’ll thank you later!
Dawn: And that’s one thing we have been complimented about as a group. Women will say to us, “I’ve been to other lesbian groups, but it’s uncomfortable when you show up, you don’t know anybody and you don’t talk to anybody. You sit in the corner alone and then go home.
A.D.: We make sure we meet everybody. Every single person in the room.
Lucy: And it’s for any type of networking. Who knows if a job is going to come through? I know ladies who have met here and then had BBQ’s at their houses.
Dawn: We’ve made a ton of friends here. I lived in California for a few years. There was such a great lesbian community in San Diego and it was so diverse. You’d get a phone call for brunch in the morning, show up and you’re thirty deep. Just a giant network of women. I don’t think that really exists on the east coast in the same way and it really should. I think there is a cliquey-ness here. There’s something really wonderful about actual diversity. Not just different people living on the same street, but different people really networking, and connecting, coming together and working together.
A.D.: I lived in Manhattan for ten years and the gay community was very prominent, the events and parties were very available, but yes, you walk into an event and it’s very cliquey. Even in Manhattan, there wasn’t a lesbian bar per se outside of the Cubbyhole or Henrietta’s. So I come to a town like Jersey City where I think we are going to have diversity in terms of age, sex, sexuality, religion, race and six to eight months in, I couldn’t find one lesbian.
Lucy: Yeah, and all of them are actually going back into Manhattan when they want to hang out or hanging out by themselves in their own little clique. So it seemed like a great idea to meet other people who are living right here.
Well, I was going to ask what inspired you to create GirlMeet, but you’ve definitely covered that. And I think it’s a wonderful thing you’re doing.
A.D.: We wanna meet the lesbians!
What can one expect coming to a GirlMeet gathering?
Lucy: She’s going to make lots of friends.
A.D.: Friendliness. Community.
Dawn: Tons of friends! She’s going to see us three every time.
A.D.: On average, I would say you’ll meet forty to fifty lesbians. We’ve had up to that many show up with minimal advertising.
Dawn: Our first meet up was about fifty to sixty people, which was actually here at Brightside. We’ve been moving from venue to venue. We go to different places all over Jersey City, so it’s very Jersey City-centric. You’ll meet people, but you’ll also meet Jersey City. You’ll go to different restaurants; you’ll go to different bars.
Me: I overheard some of the girls here tonight are from New York.
Lucy: Yeah, they’ll come from Manhattan, from Queens, from all different parts of Jersey.
A.D.: We get a lot of folks that come on in.
Dawn: You don’t always want to cross over to NY to do something gay.
Now, based on the name of the group, I’m assuming no boys allowed?
A.D.: No, boys are allowed.
Lucy: Not true. Boys can come, absolutely.
A.D.: Of course! We encourage it.
Me: So you welcome everybody?
Dawn: We do.
Lucy: Straight women come too, but maybe not straight boys.
Dawn: Straight boys have tried to infiltrate.
Me: No straight boys. Well, obviously they have a different agenda.
A.D.: We don’t want to discriminate, but…
Dawn: Gay boys are absolutely welcome, but it is a very woman-centric event.
A.D.: You know, you guys have Pint. We don’t have something like that.
How can one get involved with GirlMeet?
Lucy: Just show up.
A.D.: Like us on Facebook.
Dawn: We have a page on MeetUp.com.
Lucy: Yes, on MeetUp we are GirlMeet in Jersey City.
And you list upcoming events there?
A.D.: Yes.
Lucy: We also try to post on Gayborhood.
A.D.: And CHICpea’s calendar.
Lucy: And JC Independent [JCI].
Where do you see GirlMeet in just a year from now? You’re a fairly new group, so where would you like to see it next year?
Lucy: We would like to see younger people take it over.
A.D.: No! I disagree!
Dawn: I totally agree! No, honestly I would like it to become a thing that runs itself. That there’s a strong enough need for it and a strong enough community that’s built from it, that it doesn’t require us having to reach out to people and ask them to come, they just want to come. And one of the reasons we’re doing game night tonight is because we don’t want it to be a bunch of lesbians sitting around getting drunk, we want it to be a networking thing. So, ultimately we want it to be a networking site where we can learn about other things happening. We have our once-a-month meet up, but we feature other events happening: art events, cultural events that are happening in the area. People who need each other can use the site to network; to find each other. If they connected at an event, they can find each other on Facebook and people can then create their own events.
Lucy: There just needs to be a friendly environment where people feel like it’s theirs and run with it.
A.D.: I would really like to see a strong, prominent lesbian community developing in Jersey City out of this where people meet each other, build relationships, and that GirlMeet becomes a regular monthly event in which the community of Jersey City and the neighboring areas really do come together. I would really love to see that.
Lucy: I’m an artist and I had an art exhibit at LITM, all of GirlMeet showed up to support me. It was amazing!
Dawn: I sent out one email and they were all there. There’s a comradery here and that’s what we wanted to create.
A.D.: Our focus has never been for people to hook up, it’s always been to build a lesbian community and I think that it’s working.
Ok, now it’s all about you girls. Do you all live in Jersey City?
Lucy: Yes.
How long have you lived here?
Dawn: I lived in the Heights for seven years and this is my first year in Greenville, so eight.
Lucy: Born and raised in Greenville. I’ve traveled a bit and now back in Greenville.
A.D.: Born and raised Hoboken, moved to Manhattan and then to Jersey City for one year so far, on the dot today actually.
Dawn: Congratulations!
A.D.: See, I’m still here! I didn’t go running for the hills! I was like, “Wow, Jersey City is happening! Finally!”
What are your favorite Jersey City hotspots?
Lucy: Depends on what I’m in the mood for.
Dawn: We often meet at LITM.
Lucy: LITM for the four dollar martinis for sure.
Dawn: I love Taqueria.
Lucy: I love eating at Dullboy.
Dawn: I like Lucky 7’s. I love Barcade. I think Barcade is the greatest thing that happened to me.
A.D.: I like LITM. I’m a huge foodie, so I like to go out to all the various restaurants.
Lucy: What I would like is to go up to Carvao, the Portuguese BBQ place. They’re all ready to take us in up there. So maybe GirlMeet is going to be at Carvao next time.
Dawn: One of our greatest events happened in the beginning of the summer and that was at Port-O. We filled the bar and the outside dining area. It was the perfect venue for us.
A.D.: Surf City was absolutely amazing. We had almost eighty people. It was fantastic!
Well I would LOVE to hang out with you ladies anytime, anywhere!
Thank you, thank you, thank you to Lucy, Dawn and A.D. for letting me be a part of GirlMeet for the evening. It was an absolute pleasure meeting all three of you. What a fantastically fun and extremely enjoyable time! And thank you for all the laughs! See you next month, since you said gay boys are allowed!
I’d also like to give a special shout out to the newly wedded couple, Tamiah and Alyza. They are a Jersey City entrepreneur duo specializing in fitness apparel called SW3AT! (It took me a while to get this) It was a pleasure meeting the both of you!
Links:
GirlMeet
Just search for “GirlMeet” within Jersey City!
SW3AT Fitness Apparel
(201) 780-0912
Sw3atapparel@gmail.com
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