Someone really needs to write a manual for dating in 2020. Between the apps and social media dating has become confusing AF. So much so we even started a whole podcast trying to decipher what it all means. A few months ago a reader messaged me asking for my advice. A man she was seeing was sending her mixed signals and she wasn’t sure if he was into her or not.
My response was-
“If you’re confused, he’s not that into you”
We’ve all been there, making excuses for someone else but when push comes to shove if someone is “too busy” to text or make plans with you, they just aren’t that into you. Stop settling for less than you deserve! There is someone out there who won’t make those excuses, who will be more than happy to be there for you, but in order for them to come into your life you need to clear the way.
I stand by my response. Now in order to confirm, I asked my readers how they show people they are into them!
How do you show a woman you’re into her?
1- By being thoughtful. Considering her experience in every choice and interaction.
2- Surprising he with things she loves but didn’t ask you to get. Making her breakfast.
3- Tell her, take time to see her. Drop by her job and take her to lunch. Being honest.
4- Listen to her, prioritize the time you spend together and try to understand before reacting.
5- Listen and engage
6- Thoughtfullness- be creative with how you prove you’re listening
7- Cook, make plans, meet friends, share opinions/vulnerabilities, multiple orgasms
8- Attention to her wants and needs. Honesty. Just tell her you’re into her.
9- With your time. People who are into each other find a way to be together.
10- Eye contact. Good listening. Try to make her laugh. Initiate convos.
11- Constantly give her attention, send good morning texts.
12- We text and call. Ask about her day. Make plans. Have her meet our friends/family.
13- By being thoughtful and supportive
14- Consistency! No change in behaviors.
15- Always find time to do things and put in effort to show I am listening and give a fuck.
16- You call her, talk with her. Listen to her. Make her a mixtape.
18- I let them know I want to spend as much time with them as I can which is hard as a divorced dad with 4 kids and two jobs but I think that means even more.
19- Dinner always. Dinner is not always a date, but usually when you figure it out.
20- Tell her!
21- Continue to be proactive in making plans and keep contact with her.
22- I ask questions. Thoughtful ones. Make plans and tell them I like them!
23- If it’s important, we will make the time and effort and be persistent.
If you’re into a woman how often do you reach out? Make Plans? Do you text back right away?
1- Only if there is chemistry/attraction
2- Often enough that she knows I am present in her life and I always text back right away.
3- Reach out everyday, GM texts, did you eat texts. Make plans even if it’s just for coffee.
4- Reach out when you are thinking about her, definetly make plans and respond right away.
5- When I am into someone, I engage, but I engage with pace.
6- There is a fine like that men have to traverse these days because if he shows he’s too interested he’ll be called “thirsty” if he shows too little, it will be assumed he isn’t into you.
7- I will text back right away unless they slow down, then I try to match their energy.
8- This is specific to the woman you’re interested in. Find out what’s right for her.
9- You know, it’s a beautiful thing when you don’t have to play games! Got a good wifey here.
10- Respond early and often. Make plans for things she talks about which means you listened.
11- I will throw hints and suggestions out.
13- I will reach out at least once a week.
14- Right after meeting them, yes and yes.
There it is folks!