First things first…

We really can’t start this discussion without talking about Kim Kardashian’s naked selfie.  It caused quite the hubbub.  Everyone from Piers Morgan, to P!nk, to Chloe Grace Moretz to Kanye’s ex Amber Rose weighed in on whether Kim K was a slut, a Feminist, or a fame whore. Honestly, I’ve seen less debate about the upcoming election than I did about this naked Instagram, which by the way, if we can clarify for a second, was censored to not show Kim’s bathing suit areas. Normally I would say that everyone’s entitled to their opinion and debate is healthy but there’s really only one correct response to this selfie: Kim Kardashian is an adult woman who is in control of her body and is allowed to do with it as she so pleases. Feminism means supporting all women even when they make decisions (within reason) that you wouldn’t make for yourself. Do I wish Kim K would promote something more than just image to young girls? Sure. But does her nakedness offend me? Hell no! You do realize that nakedness is like, a normal thing we shouldn’t be so freaking weird about, right guys? Ok.

Anywaaayyy…

Growing up in the 90s, there was no one I wanted to be more than Gwen Stefani. Punk rock, high school me, definitely dreamed of marrying Gavin Rossdale, dressing like Tragic Kingdom era Gwen, and running around on stage living the dream. These days things are a little different for good ol’ Gwen and me. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Stefani has been dating fellow The Voice … Judge? Coach? What are they officially? Anyway, Stefani has been dating fellow The Voice… person, Blake Shelton. Shelton seems like a fun guy and they seem perfectly adorable and “loved up” (what a terrible term). But their relationship feels INESCAPABLE. It’s like a Saw booby trap I can’t find my way out of and the torture is reading tweet after tweet and hearing single after single (Gwen’s Make Me Like You and Blake’s Came Here to Forget) in which they remind us that they are super in like with each other. OMG you guys! Totes adorable! ::screams silently::

Moving on,

In adorable things I don’t want to escape news, Emma Watson recently interviewed Broadway genius Lin-Manuel Miranda for her He for She Campaign’s Arts Week.  They discussed gender equality, Miranda’s phenomenal show Hamilton, Harry Potter, and a great deal more. Watson’s interview skills are developing but it’s definitely worth your time if you’re interested in either of their careers, especially Miranda. The real treat however is Watson adorably trying to get past her embarrassment to beat box while Lin freestyles. I have never identified more with a person 100% wanting to be a part of a fun thing while being equally terrified of looking like a complete fool.  Story of my life girl. You can check out the interview (beat boxing at the end) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToxxwsUmCkc

…takes fan girl hat off…

If you haven’t heard the name Zach Miko yet, you probably will be soon. He’s the first plus sized male model to be signed to a major label, in this case, IMG, who have started a division called “Brawn” for men of Miko’s size. This is undeniably awesome.  However, I can’t help but balk at the term “Brawn”. Let me see if I can get this straight. Female models outside the spectrum of traditionally used sizes in the fashion world are PLUS sized while their male counterparts are brawny?! So men get a cool, semi-ambiguous, and appealing term and women still get a sterile, kind of offensively literal one? And don’t start with Tyra Banks’ fiercely tragic attempt to rebrand plus-sized female models as “fiercely real”. CAN THEY ALL JUST BE MODELS NOW?! Please and thank you.

And finally,

Fuller House premiered on Netflix the last weekend of February. Its release, which everyone in the country apparently had secret meetings about for years that I was never invited to, dominated (and I do mean DOMINATED) my Facebook feed for approximately 48 hours and then vanished without so much as a “you got it dude”. March has been a virtual Fuller House free zone. Is this how we consume pop culture now? Demand a reunion/reboot/un-cancellation, celebrate announcement of said return of beloved property from the past, suck it down like a Shamrock Shake and then promptly forget it ever happened? “How rude”!

One last thing before I go…

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was FINALLY released in theaters on the 25^th, making $170 million in its opening weekend.  Critics have not been kind to the movie which currently holds a 29% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  This has led to a conspiracy theory more popular than faking the moon landing among DC fans who have angrily concluded that critics must have been paid off by Marvel to trash the film. Marvel, now under control by global superpower Disney, might have some extra cash for critic payola hanging around given the success of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  But, let’s be real for a second. I know that can be hard on the internet. But let’s try.

I can see where it would be easy to bash critics. Movies, by and large, are supposed to be fun and entertaining. We go to the theater to escape and when we enjoy that time immensely it can feel crummy to hear someone publicly declare that that thing we loved is actually hot garbage. Anyone can be a critic these days and I’m sure many think they could hack it. All it takes is a free Word Press account and an opinion. The internet in its glorious democracy has given everyone a voice. And so, you might think movie review an easy and carefree job full of perks and ass-kissing. But guys, it’s not. It’s a J. O. B. job and the people who do it at a high enough level to have their reviews be approved for use in Rotten Tomatoes aggregation (and there is a legit vetting process, look it up), work incredibly hard at it whether you agree with their opinion or not.  I’ve seen a TON of movies. I LOVE talking about them. I’ve tried writing reviews and let me tell you, it’s not manual labor or brain surgery hard but it’s also not a basket of rainbows and high fives.

Listen, it’s fine to disagree. It’s ok to do so passionately and it’s also understandable to be upset or bummed when someone with a public platform says a movie you love full of characters you care about is not good or even terrible.  I get it. You’re talking to someone who enjoyed Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. But the internet craziness with critics really needs to stop. You think this DC conspiracy theory chaos is bad? Lord help the female critic that doesn’t like Captain America: Civil War. Fans, nerds, the comic book movie going masses are an opinionated and fervent bunch and that is truly great. Until it goes to shit and they start telling critics they’re not real fans who should die in a fire or worse.  The bottom line is that even if every critic on the planet says a movie is awful, you, as a human being with free will get to love that movie as much as you want. You can Lenny that cinematic rabbit to death if you want. Time marches on and there will be a new Superman, yet another Batman, more Iron Men, Captain Americas, and on and on. These stories will be retold, revised, and revisited and this same anger cycle will no doubt follow closely behind. So how about we chill out with the conspiracy theories, the death threats, the misogyny and entitlement. Stand so tall and confidently fellow nerds, in your love and appreciation of something that’s being poorly reviewed by the pros that you simply let it go. Why? Because it doesn’t matter! Let’s enjoy ourselves and agree to disagree.