Today is my 36th birthday, and in celebration of it, I wanted to share a part of my journey with my readers. I learned so much about life and myself in the last few years that really changed how I view things, and how I handle life’s ups and downs. I really feel like I’ve come a really long way and want to thank all my readers and followers for joining me on this rollercoaster ride.
I love myself. I really do. And it’s the most awesome and freeing feeling ever, and it’s a feeling I want everyone to have, because the moment that happens is the moment you can really be the best YOU.
For my birthday, I teamed up with a star studded crew of creatives to bring out the super star ME for a fun birthday theme photo shoot. I had the best time, and remember thinking to myself that all this hard work and all the failures, lessons, pain, heartbreak brought me to that moment where I got to shine. I created this life for myself and I am super excited for the future.
So what are things I learned after 30? Too much.
Being authentic means treating our values with respect, refusing to fake the reality of who we are so that others will love us. It means being willing to stand up for ourselves and our ideas and not accepting anything less than what we feel we deserve. It means letting go of people who can’t handle or appreciate our authenticity. Every day we have a choice, to show up and be real, to be honest with ourselves and others and to let our true vulnerable selves be seen. Because this is what makes us unique and special. The universe or god or whatever you believe in created each and every one of us to be different for a reason.
The Way People Treat You is A Reflection of Them NOT YOU.
Isn’t that crazy? The moment I realized this is when I stopped taking things so personally. It’s freeing to know that how people treat you or behave towards you has actually nothing to do with you. But with them; with whatever they are going through. This also helps being kind to others even when they aren’t kind to us, and understanding that people go through shit and instead of looking within themselves and trying to work it out, they take it out on other people, sometimes people close to them.
Put yourself FIRST
There’s a negative connotation when it comes to being “selfish” which I don’t understand. If you don’t put your needs first who will? If you take care of yourself, it will only make you better; at your job, in your relationship, as a parent. If you don’t care for your needs and constantly put others in front of you, you will eventually grow resentful. That is not a way to live. We ourselves are the ones in charge of our own happiness, often times people think that others can make us happy but it doesn’t work like that. Happiness comes from within ourselves, and taking care of our needs and being selfish with what we want in life can contribute to that happiness. Does that make sense?
Take care of your body, inside and out
Our bodies are our vessels, we need to treat it well. Exercising, eating well, drinking alot of water are a few things you HAVE to do for yourself. Getting checked up regularly, taking vitamins etc… But as much as it’s important to take care of our physical health, we also need to take care of our mental health. In the last year I took my health into my hands and have been actively working on myself. Through therapy, meditation, journaling and a few non-traditional forms of self help (reiki, hypnotherapy etc). You’re a constant work in progress, and its never too late to take care of yourself.
For mediocrity, for shitty jobs, bad relationships because you fear change, failure or taking a risk. YOU have the power to change the things that do not make you happy so STOP 🛑 making excuses to justify your complacency. Do you want to wake up in 5/10/20 years with regrets? Wishing you hadn’t settled? Change the way you think and feel, raise the bar and don’t settle for mediocrity.
FEAR is an Illusion
What is fear really? It’s a thought that enters your head, a thought you can change. People ‘s fear of failure stops them from pursuing things they want to do. Which brings me back to the “Never Settle.” If you don’t pursue things you want to do then what happens next? Regret. Don’t let fear stop you. Failures and making mistakes are part of life.
Do shit you love
Life is not always fun or a bed of roses, there are ups and downs, and it’s impossible to ALWAYS be happy. But the one thing that should be a constant is doing shit you love. Every single person on this earth has something they LOVE to do. But they let life/work/responsibilties get in the way of the things they LOVE. While others will make it their life mission to do what they love day in and day out and some may even find a way to get paid for it. Just saying.
Every morning I wake up and think about how blessed I am. I think about all the things I am grateful for; my daughter, the roof over my head, my health, my job, my family etc… Whenever I feel down, or sad, I try to revert my thoughts to being grateful, I actually say to myself “I am grateful for being sad, means I am alive, and I feel, and I am grateful for that.” Ever since I started counting my blessings, I’ve become a much happier person.
Not Everyone Will Like You. THAT’s OK.
Mind blowing. The moment I realized that not everyone is going to like me is when I just started being unapolegically myself. No matter what, it’s impossible to please everyone! It just isn’t possible!! And also you don’t want to! Be you and you will attract the RIGHT people in your life. And if someone doesn’t like you, it’s their problem not yours.
Lead with Kindness
Being kind is so important, especially in the world we live in. Next time when you’re in your car, and someone cuts you off, instead of honking and giving the finger and ruining your whole mood, let them go. Wish them well and see how you feel. Karma will love you. I did this once, I caught myself before reacting and let it go. Right after,I found a parking spot right in front of where I was going. I am telling you, if you practice kindness and treat others (even shitty people) with kindness the universe will pay you dividends and you also won’t be in a shitty mood all day.
Do shit. When a friend asks you to go on an adventure, and you’re in bed cozy, go do it! Say YES to stuff, say yes to trying something new, say yes to a challenging job opportunity, say yes to your friend setting you up on a date. One life you guys.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… But sometimes you need to SAY NO. Say no when something doesn’t feel right, say no when someone needs to have more boundaries, say no when your body is saying you need to stay home and rest. Say no to more work when you know you have too much on your plate.
Be in love with your Journey, not obsessed with your goals
Too often we are obsessed with our “goals,” whether it’s to get that promotion at work, buy a home, or get in shape. We need to be obsessed with the journey getting there; the day to day. If you obsess over time and goals you will most likely be disappointed, but if you focus on living day by day and the joy in the process you will be more content. People always ask me what my “goals” are, and although I do have things in mind I would like to achieve, I take everything as it comes. I wake up in the morning and think, how can I make today great? What can I do to get closer to where I need to be as opposed to focus on the outcome. Love your journey, love the good and the bad, it’s part of the process.
Life is cyclical, you can’t always be happy without experiencing pain.
We live in a world where we expect to be happy ALL THE TIME. We want instant gratification, we want things to workout and all to be “perfect”. But that is just not possible. Life ebs and flows and the moment you realize that is the moment the pain won’t be so bad any more. If you know that there will be an end to pain and sadness, you will be able to cope better. Think about something shitty that happened to you a few years ago, think about how horrible you were feeling when it happened, maybe helpless, but there was an end to it right? Maybe there was a lesson to what happened? Did you learn something from it? Did it make you stronger? or make you grow? It’s OK to not always be happy, it’s part of life.
Your GUT! Listen to it!
We all have inner intuition that tells us when something doesn’t feel right, listen to it! Being in touch with yourself and checking in with your thoughts and your gut before making big decisions is so important. If your gut is telling you something isn’t right, then it probably isn’t.
It’s never too late to start something, or go after your dreams
I started this blog when I was 30 years old, working in corporate and my mini me was only a year old. The average blogger begins at their early 20s. It’s NEVER too late to start something, or go after your passions. Just do it. Stop talking about it or saying “I should have.” Just do it.
Your Network is Your NET WORTH
Surround yourself with successful/like minded people, who match your energy, who have the same values and aspirations. The moment I started hanging out around successful people is the moment I started growing as a person and business owner. I am so thankful to have a group of friends who are all killing it in their own lives. Being around people who inspire you will only make you better.
Do an inventory of the people around you and how they make you feel. Do they invigorate, motivate, uplift you or do you feel like they are holding you back?